Tiger Woods Has An Absolute Hammer, And Lindsey Vonn Was On The Receiving End Of Its Fury

Today, someone in the nerd-world went and hacked Lindsey Vonn’s iCloud or some shit and leaked nude pics/video of her and Tiger Woods. The photos released include one of Tiger full-frontal, and then a multitude of Vonn’s snatch, pierced nips, and a nice lil bathroom video too.

First things first, I wouldn’t be surprised if Tiger leaked these pics himself. They were awfully flattering pics of TW. I don’t see anything damning about the photos of him, in fact, it shows he has a fucking 3-Wood (pun and play on words intended) between his legs. The latter (Vonn’s pics) were not as kind…she looks exactly how I think the pics would look like after El Tigre had been all up in there. I’m not saying I wouldn’t try and give her the business, even after my hero had his way with her…but it looks like this Olympic skier has definitely seen better days. My guess is that these pics came after TW, JJ Watt & 19 other professional athletes had their way with her, and she had no worries sending the ol hatchet wound out in snaps or DMs even in that current state. Proud of you Lindz, no matter what your gear looks like. Thank You INTERNET GODS for this Monday drop.

Now as I write this, Bleacher Report has already come out with a statement from Tiger saying he will sue whomever is responsible for the leak, but why is he mad? It shows he’s got a fucking hammer Johnson-rod, and that he beats up box like Floyd Mayweather. The real question is…how long of a list of women are trying to holla at Tiger now? I have to imagine if he is still a sexual deviant/addict, this would be the perfect scenario. In fact, he may even get a call from Brazzers to do some side hustle while getting in golf shape. Take advantage of this semi-positive publicity for the first time in a few years bubs!

Just saw the tiger woods and Lindsey Vonn pics. 2 thoughts. How did he swing a club and why would he want that picture taken down?

— Brandon (@bscar11) August 22, 2017

Spin zone…no one cares about the absurd amount of drugs that were in his system, because now when anyone mentions TW, they will be talking about how he ravaged the gold-medalist’s vagine, and that the reason he may have all these health issues in the past is because he’s toting around Thor’s weapon between his thighs. So in summation, I’ll say attaboy TW, as well as a tip of the cap to the Caublasian genes. He’s probably glad he inherited that from his dad, rather than getting one from his mom’s side… And for Lindsey, don’t sweat it too much… it’s not like your clam looks like Hope Solo’s, which was the grossest Fappening-leak ever. It almost turned me off of USWNT athletes altogether…luckily most of them being scissor sisters, keeps me coming back for more.

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