Before we delve into the madness that ensues once the brackets are out, can we first talk about the train wreck that was Selection Sunday? Year after year Selection Sunday is one of the most anticipated nights for sports fans, and year after year it does not disappoint…until this year. You would think a conglomerate like Turner Sports would not fix what wasn’t broken, but no they decided to switch it up and Twitter erupted like we all knew it would.
I for one would like to congratulate @TurnerSportsPR on managing to fuck up the selection show far beyond anyone’s belief. I’m sure it took a lot of hard work to ruin something this spectacularly.
— Chronic Hoosier (@ChronicHoosier) March 11, 2018
They have ruined Selection Sunday. It’s over. They’ve killed something we all loved
— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) March 11, 2018
Why Turner thought it would be a good idea to release all the teams who received an At-Large Bid in Alphabetical order and THEN release the bracket seems so backwards it’s crazy. Not to mention the audio wasn’t synced up so it was an overall shit show. Alas, the bracket is set and now it is time to map out how not to lose all our money before the weekend.
— NCAA March Madness (@marchmadness) March 11, 2018
March is the most stressful, but also the most exhilarating month for gamblers. Hopefully you are coming off a successful Championship Week and you have some denominations to play with, but even if you didn’t is that really going to stop you? Obviously not, you’re a degenerate just like the rest of us. First off, I am no gambling tout so I am not here to give you guarantees, but I am here to give you a couple ways to not lose your entire bankroll before the Sweet 16.
March Madness Gambling is like Fucking Margot Robbie
First and foremost, do NOT blow your load too soon. Gambling on March Madness is like if you got a chance to fuck Margot Robbie. You can’t just go straight to the fucking or else you’ll be done in 11 seconds and disgusted with yourself. Same goes for betting on the first weekend, you need to take your time, pick your spots, and enjoy the ride. Or else you’ll find yourself sending a “can I get more credit” text to your bookie before the early games on Friday. Bankroll management is nearly impossible when you see a full slate of games that are on tv, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to not blow your load like Leo in Wolf of Wall Street.
Take the Points
Like you’ll see in my bio, I am a Gut Guy when it comes to gambling so I am not going to throw around stats to back up what I am saying, because at the end of the day no matter how many numbers are crunched, and statistical data there is to backup a side, nobody and I mean NOBODY knows what the outcome of a game is going to be, especially in March. For the first week, if I see a team getting 10+ points I will usually take that value and bet the underdog. I just like the value of getting a mid major champion against an average Power 5 team, on a neutral site, with nothing to lose. While I like the underdogs (with the points) I usually save my crazy upsets for my brackets, instead on throwing money down the drain on every 12-5 upset, because “it has to happen every year”. That brings me to my last point, which correlates to what I said earlier about nobody knowing anything….fade the public.
Side Note: If you take one piece of gambling advice please listen closely…NEVER pay for picks!!! Every gambling tout is a liar and a cheat and he is taking both sides of the action. You can lose your money on your own, no need to pay someone else to lose for you.
Fade the Public
You know how “the house always wins” right?
You know who the house is betting against? The Public.
You know who the public loves? Favorites and Overs.
By nature you want to bet on the better team, and for there to be a lot of scoring, so in turn the public is naturally going to bet favorites, and overs more than underdogs, and unders. A living legend by the name of Stu Feiner (Must Follow on Snapchat @stufeiner) once said, to be successful gambling you need to absolutely hate a bet when you put it in. It is never fun betting on the shitty team and for there to be no points scored, but that’s the only way you can find a slight advantage when it comes to gambling. If you are a high volume bettor, and you want to try and find that edge, I HIGHLY suggest downloading the Action App for all your gambling needs. Oh, and also check out my fellow Hash Sports gambling expert, Scott Steehn AKA the Steehnroller and his new podcast, Hook, Line & Cover.
While I hope you take this advice to heart, I know you are all degenerates like me and all common sense flies out the window once you are staring at the full board on Thursday morning. All we can hope for is we don’t blow our load too soon and can actually enjoy the beauty that is March Madness.
If you want some fade material this March Madness (and any other month), be sure to follow me on Twitter @mattmarks19 and I will surely be giving out losers like I always do.