If you didn’t see the intro blog to this series you can read it: HERE.
Hating is a very delicate art. It must be performed with the most perfect of touches in order to keep it under control. Too many people can’t properly control their hate and either internalize it, or let it burst out in fits. A true maestro of hating can properly let the hate flow through them in order to provide maximum self-satisfaction.
In order to reach this pinnacle of loathing, one must follow the direction of Michael Jackson and start with The Man in the Mirror. You cannot truly hate others until you have learned to hate yourself, otherwise you’re just fooling yourself. As a fan of the most infamous trio of teams in sports, the Jets, Mets, and Knicks, I have fully accepted, and almost thrive off of, self-hatred. AND YES, OUR EXISTENCE IS THE MOST MISERABLE. Throughout this series I will only present this statistic one time for any Washington/Cleveland/Atlanta/Minnesota fans who think they have it worse: the combination of the Jets, Mets, and Knicks have THE LONGEST championship drought of any city with an NFL, NBA, and MLB team. So, when it comes to self-hatred we are the decisive experts.
Now that that’s been cleared up…
There are the classic teams that “everyone” hates, the Patriots, the Cowboys, the Lakers, the Yankees, and whoever LeBron is playing for. But for most, that means in the Eagles-Patriots Super Bowl they were cheering for the Eagles, but at the end of the day just “wanted a good game.” For me it meant getting an Eagles jersey, getting blackout drunk, and partying with Eagles fans late into the night (more on that in a later week). A true hater can force themselves to completely let go of every piece of pride they’ve ever had, and fully embrace the hate.
I could go on for pages and pages about how much I hate my sports fandom existence and how horrible my teams are, but that is not the point of this series. The point of this series is to entertain and to instruct on how to hate others. But I thought it would be impossible to do that without first denoting the significance of self-hatred.
So, I am giving you one week to decide if you truly hate yourself enough to continue reading this series. I hope you all can join me on this journey.
See you next week to discuss The Art of Hating: The New York Yankees.