Hockey has its own language. A little English, a little French, a whole lot more Eastern European than it used to be. And, of course, a good helping of locker room talk.

Or, as Gordie Howe once famously said, “All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.”

Except, in hockey, it isn’t a locker room. It’s a dressing room. And they don’t wear jerseys. They wear sweaters. And there’s a whole bunch of other hockey slang you might want to learn if you don’t want people to think you’re a hoser.

At which most Canadians will roll their eyes, because nobody says it anymore. Everybody thinks it came from Bob and Doug McKenzie, a couple of characters on an old TV show, which it didn’t. It derives from pre-Zamboni days when losing hockey teams had to water down the ice — thus, hoser = loser.

Anyway, here’s a sampling of some of hockey’s most common slang:

A

Apple: An assist.

B

Basket: The net.

Beautician: A talented player who is popular both with his teammates and the ladies.

Biscuit: The puck (as in “put the biscuit in the basket”).

Bottle rocket: A goal that breaks the goaltender’s water bottle (which typically rests on the net behind the crossbar).

Bucket: A helmet (alternatively, “brain bucket”).

C

Chiclets: Teeth.

Chirp: To talk trash (as in “knock off the chirpin’ or you’re gonna be spittin’ chiclets”).

Clapper: A powerful slap shot.

D

Dangle: The act of maintaining or the ability to maintain puck possession amid numerous opponents by stickhandling around or through them.

Dusty: A player who gets little ice time.

Dusts it off: When a defenseman briefly handles the puck and gets it to an offensive player.

F

Facewash: Putting your glove, palm first, into an opponent’s face to irritate them.

Five-hole: The gap between the goalie’s legs.

Flow: Great hockey hair.

G

Gordie Howe hat trick: When a player scores a goal, registers an assist and gets in a fight in the same game.

Grenade: A bad pass that bounces erratically toward a teammate.

H

Hat trick: One player scoring three goals in a single game. Traditionally, this prompts spectators to throw their hats on the ice.

L

Lettuce: See “Flow”.

Light the lamp: To score a goal (signaled by the goal judge turning on a red light behind the net).

Lip lettuce: A mustache.

P

Pigeon: A player who can’t score on his own (relying on others to “feed” him, as one would the birds in the park).

Pylon: An extremely slow player who is easily skated around.

S

Salad: See “Lettuce”.

Sin bin: The penalty box.

Snipe: A well-placed shot resulting in a goal, frequently entering the net without the goalie touching it.

Stoned: Having one’s shot stopped by a great save.

T

Top shelf: The area just below the crossbar.

Twig: A hockey stick — though wood was long ago replaced, first by aluminum, then by composites, as the stick material of choice.

W

Wheeling: The act of picking up women. A “beautician” can wheel the ladies.

Wraparound: Taking the puck behind the net and trying to score on the other side.

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