Folks, in my 21 years of life I have always asserted that the indoors is better than the outdoors. The great indoors has A/C, places I can keep my phone and laptop plugged in, refrigerators, beds, and countless other things that have kept it hot in the streets for centuries. Meanwhile, when you go outdoors, shit like this happens.
A Texas man nearly died after he bent down to collect the snake he had decapitated moments earlier in his yard and the severed head bit him on the hand. https://t.co/igmMcrJSw6
— CBSDFW (@CBSDFW) June 7, 2018
What the actual shit.
I have a confession: I hate snakes. When I was 9 years old my father told me it was time to become a man and I was forced to kill a snake with a shovel in my garage. It evaded the mighty swing of my shovel and started coming at me. Next thing I knew I woke up on my couch with an ice pack on my forehead with my mother panicking over me as my father stood looking on disappointingly. Apparently when the non venomous garter snake started sliding towards me I tried to run upstairs into the house, tripped, hit my head on the garage door, and passed out. Not my proudest moment, but one that molded me into the *man* I am today. It also established my terrible fear of snakes.
So when I read this story, I was having a massive panic attack to say the very least. How does this happen? This man heard his wife screaming in the garden, so like the man that he is, and I will never be, he ran out to defend his woman. Like a heroic French revolutionary with his guillotine he decapitated the deadly rattlesnake. Like any good Texan (because of course this was in Texas) he bent down to collect his trophy to make into a belt buckle or mount on his wall or something. However, this young snake was not. dead. yet. The very much decapitated head of the rattlesnake chomped down on the man’s hand and buddy was he in trouble.
Texas man who was bitten by a decapitated rattlesnake needed 26 shots of antivenom to escape death. https://t.co/S07kJrsC5t
— AP Central U.S. (@APCentralRegion) June 7, 2018
He needed TWENTY SIX (26) shots of antivenom to live after being bitten by a DECAPITATED snake. That is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen. I plead this South Texas man to heed my advice and stick to the indoors.
P.S. You can always count on the nature hardos at National Geographic to give the “humans actually hurt [this animal] more than [same animal] hurts humans” headline.
Western diamondback rattlesnakes have more to fear from people than we do from them—but they should always be treated carefully https://t.co/ASLGAYigqq
— National Geographic (@NatGeo) June 7, 2018
Keep fighting the good fight Nat Geo.