Justin Thomas Wins The PGA & Ya Boy Cashed Out

Congrats to JT for winning the PGA Championship this past weekend and to myself for calling that shit. $10 to win $280…not bad. Let us now take a look back at JT’s final round and the timeline of events that unfolded on Sunday, which led to his first major and cash money in my pocket.
#1 – Drive>bunker>bunker>bunker. Catches his second bunker shot thin, over the
green. CLUTCH 15 footer for bogey. Avoids disastrous start and hopefully settles his nerves.
#2 – Drains 20 footer for birdie, back to E on the day. The putter is on today!
#3 – Gives the shot right back. Can’t make every putt, but we need to make more of those little guys than we miss.
Can’t stand Kisner. All he does is hit greens in regulation and 2 putt for par. BORING. SHORT HITTER. TAKES ZERO CHANCES. He’s gonna be around ALL DAY.
#7 – Big boy birdie putt, and we are back to where we started the day, -5. Let’s go!!
#9 – From way downtown, BANG!! Birdie baby!! -6 at the turn. We are putting on a clinic with the flat stick today.
#10 – Drive way left, hits tree and bounces into the middle of the fairway (LUCKY). Birdie putt hangs on the rim of the cup for 10 seconds and drops in. JT tips his cap. Today is our day JT, gotta have luck to win our first major!
**If we win, #10 is one of those moments you will always remember because they will show it nonstop. Like Tiger’s chip in on 16 at Augusta. Remember when it hung on the lip like a goddamn nike commercial? This felt like one of those moments at the time.**
2:04 Pacific Time (or 5:04 ET for you timezone purists out there) – JT is -7, and we are in a 5-way tie for the lead.
2:25 (fuck y’all, I’m staying true to PST, do the math!) – 5-way tie turns into a solo lead for JT after we par and everyone else makes bogey. We are finally alone at the top of the mountain!
#13 – JT from the fringe for birdie!! 2 shots clear of the field! Holy. Freaking. Wow. Batman! That was incredible! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, we really might win!
2:45 – I’m officially annoyed with Patrick fucking Reed. Go away you prick, today is not your day, do not ruin this for me and JT! Patty has a 68 foot birdie putt, really hope he 3 putts, but know he won’t. Annnnnnd he 2 putts.
#15 – JT has a 5 iron into a par 5. Looking great for an eagle opportunity…until he duffs it and leaves it short of the green. Missed opportunity to seal the deal. Chips up leaving 11 feet for birdie. Misses putt. Still 1 up on Patty Reed and Matsuyama. Birdie there would have put the tournament on ice.
2:57 – I still don’t like Kisner, guy shows no emotion at any time. I’m not convinced he isn’t a robot. Dude would bleed oil not blood. Not a fan to say the least.
3:23 – Reed with a bogey at 18, and he’s done. Down to JT and Kisner. Good lord do I not like Kisner (ole steady Eddie).
#17 – JT sticks one on the par 3, drains 10 footer for birdie! 2 clear with 1 to play.
3:34 – Kisner bogey at 16 and JT is up 3!
#18 – JT in the bunker off the tee, and from the beach, he leaves it in the DEEP rough 60 yards short of the green. Good shot, but we make a bogey on our last hole finishing at -8 and up 2 on Kisner.
3:48 – Kisner misses birdie putt at 17, and JT has this thing in the bag! Well, unless Kisner eagles 18. With my luck, nothing would surprise me, but I think we got this!
3:55 – Kisner in the water on 18, and JT, I mean, cue Freddie Mercury because WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!! Wooooofuckinghooooooooo!!!
4:11 – JT kisses the Wanamaker Trophy. He has his prize, now it’s time to get mine.
4:34 – cashed my JT ticket at Palace Station for $290 and boom goes the dynamite!!