So last night the Cavs completed their sweep of the Raptors by absolutely demolishing DeMar DeRozan and Kyle Lowry. LeBron made as many field goals this series as those two combined. That’s disgusting. DeMar and Peach Lowry may need to quit basketball for the rest of their lives. Now LeBron basically swept this team by himself, but surprisingly the second best player all series was the always wonderful JR Smith.
Well, after last night’s win our old pal JR Spliff came on to chat with SVP.
“How green is your light, J.R.?”
“Very green … but not as green as that green im gonna hit tomorrow.”
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) May 8, 2018
JR just put the most work he has put into a series in years and he is ready to just hit that green. And you know what? I don’t blame him one bit. Playing with LeBron James must be the most goddamn stressful thing on Earth. As the NBA’s only true Jackie Moon, your GM, your head coach, and most importantly your starting everything, LeBron gets so angry when things don’t go his way. He does about everything humanly possible to win basketball games so when somebody messes up he just loses his shit. I imagine it would be like putting Tom Brady on a high school football team. He is so good that he is lighting it up and decimating defenses, but once the ball is out of his hands the other players on the team are fumbling everywhere and the defense is giving up 100 points. If you look closely enough you can often see Bron Bron having a full on aneurysm on the court.
So naturally JR is ready to roll one up and hit the shit out of some green while he waits to see how this Celtics- Sixers series turns out. He is going to be cheering hard for the Process because the longer this series goes the more time JR has to sit in his basement and just get absolutely toasted.
P.S. Apparently he was just talking about going golfing.
….it was about golf. But, I knew as soon as he said it where it was going on the ole twitter machine. https://t.co/h5H88NaR7i
— Scott Van Pelt (@notthefakeSVP) May 8, 2018
But if you don’t think JR is gonna also roll a couple up to bring on the course with him you’re crazy. This seems like a good time to mention that JR is in my top 5 people to play golf with of all time.
No shirt. Smoking a J. Talkin shit about Melo. Sounds like the perfect day to me. Keep it up JR.