If You Try To Rescue Kittens, But Then They Eat Your Face Because They Are In Fact Baby Bobcats, That’s On You

Three people were injured after two bobcat kittens were mistaken for domestic kittens.

Animal Care Services said a family living off Eisenhower road near Salado Creek discovered the felines at a back alleyway. The homeowner decided to bring them inside her home.

“She tried to feed them some kitten milk and during the process of doing that, three people were bitten,” said ACS spokesperson Lisa Norwood. “Bitten on the hand. Not bad bites but bites nonetheless. They’re seeking medical attention right now.” – Denver 9News

This is exactly why cats can’t be trusted. Not only are they unpredictable, disloyal little spawns of satan, but they can disguise themselves as little cute domestic kittens when in reality they are baby bobcats and will literally rip your face off. The kind samaritans attempted to give the “kittens” some milk, but these bobcats from the wild said, “what the fuck is this shit!?” “we drink the blood of a baby fawn”. So the bobcats proceeded to bite the shit out of these human’s hands. Can’t blame em.

It was then, after the Norwood’s were bleeding out from the hands, that they realized something was not right here… so they decided to do a little research of their own.

“Once they started taking a look at the kittens, seeing how big they were, how robust they were, how their tails were bobbed,” said Norwood. “I think they started doing a little bit more research and educating themselves and thinking: ‘You know what, these don’t look like your standard house cat. Maybe we should call somebody.’ Thankfully, they did.” – Denver 9News

So, just a little advice to all my fellow animal lovers out there… just because the animal appears to be a cute, cuddly wuddly, wittle bear, doesn’t mean that they aren’t trying to find a way to kill you. Take my dog Bruce for example… he appears to be a cute, very chill bulldog. However, he hates the fuck out of me and has been plotting my death for years.