By God what a derby! There was action, drama, a few “fucks” that were audible and I could feel ESPN cringe when they heard it. I loved every second of this one. First off, let’s talk about how dope the bats all of the participants were using. Harper had Old Glory on his barrell and it was straight fire. Jesus Aguilar came out swinging the Venezuelan colored bat and it also was a huge hit. (see what I did there). Let’s recap, boys and girls.
The repeating trend of the number 1 seed player getting booted in the first round stayed strong this year. This was no fault of Aguilar, as Rhys Hoskins came out strong, hitting 17 bombs as the first batter. Aguilar couldn’t keep up with that high total and Hoskins advanced. Bregman vs Schwarber was the first of a dramatic night for my boy, Schwarber. Bregman needed only one more to tie with only 4 seconds left and his last swing hit the left field wall. Harper runs the table against Freeman, who only hit 12 HR’s. Baez and Muncy was the first match up that ended in a walk off with Muncy beating Baez 17-16. Shout out to my boy Javy though, hitting the furthest ball of the night at 479 ft. Javy fucking bomb.
Harper vs Muncy was the first and only time I legitimately thought that Bryce Harper was going home empty handed. Muncy had the controlled swing and it looked like he was going to be on pace for a 20 homer round, however none of that happened and Muncy only hit a dozen. Harper goes yard on five straight pitches and sends Muncy, and the Dodgers home without the dinger trophy again. Schwarber vs. Hoskins was… holy fuck I’m losing it. This round was electric. Hoskins comes out AGAIN and hits 20 bombs. At this point I’m sitting on my couch and accepting defeat. But here comes big dick swinging Kyle Schwarber. After a strategic time out Schwarber walks it the fuck off with 21 home runs. I lose my shit and tell twitter.
KYLE MF’ING SCHWARBER HITS 21 IN THE 2ND GOD DAMN ROUND pic.twitter.com/5YQi8tG3Bn
— Moose (@topshelfolson) July 17, 2018
The final round was intense and heartbreaking. I told myself that Kyle needed at least 20 to even have a chance at winning. With Harper only having to beat 12 home runs per round, he is barely out of gas, he could probably go another round if he had to. Schwarber sets the bar high at 18 but i knew it wouldn’t hold up, he was out of gas and I was out of beer. Harper comes in and for a good solid minute, his dad (pitching to Harper) is throwing like shit, can’t hit his spot and I’m thinking “holy shit, this could be the X Factor!” But that doesn’t last long, Bryce gets sick of the shit pitches and just adjusts to each and every fucking one of them. I’m 100% certain that I saw a pitch heading straight for his testicles and he turned on it sending it 460 ft. Great Home Run Derby, I’m glad Washington could see Harper win one championship…ish thing, before he becomes a Cub.
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) July 17, 2018