Why marijuana is still a banned substance in sports is beyond me. The NHL and NBA seem to be on the forefront of change for their sports, while the NFL still has their dick in their hand. So, I wanted to break down which leagues are pro-weed guys… and who you need to hate, when it comes to protests and social media outrage (hint: Its Jeff Sessions and Roger Goodell).
Adam Silver is the commissioner all pro-sports organizations wish they had. He’s not a douche canoe like Goodell, and he seems to actually listen and back his players. Not only are they on the forefront of sponsorships, but they also change the rules to accommodate the evolution of the game. Next up.. quit testing for MMJ, let the players live their lives in the offseason. Not to mention the proven science that it’s better for you than popping oxy for the work related ailments. I’m betting in the next 1-2 years they lighten up on DT’s and allow players to pass the rock and the J (maybe not to OJ Mayo though…)
Goodell is the biggest fucktard in all of pro sports. He is the Jeff Sessions of sports commissioners. He’s a huge piece of shit that no one would piss on if he was actually on fire. This guy seems to be so far up his own ass that he doesn’t give a shit about his players, his organization, or the possible liability of opioid addiction for his cash cow employees. I legitimately fucking hate this guy, and hope he reads this because I literally couldn’t tell you who I loathe more… he or the actual shittiest human on Earth, ol’ Jeffro Sesh. Don’t expect Goodell to help his players or the league anytime soon, and don’t hold your breath NFL players… unless you’re ghosting that hit.
Disclaimer: Pat McAfee has said he thinks they will come around sooner rather than later, but he may have been high when he said that.
Why the fuck did they implement recreational drug testing in the first place? I know DJ (allegedly) ruined this for everyone, partying with Paulina (Sup Paulina?) and Brooks Koepka every week in Vegas, blowing down and probably smoking up as well… But the PGA (and golf in general) could really benefit from being allowed to toke it up. It’s my preferred buzz of choice when I’m out on my local track, and because golf is a casual, slow game… it fits perfectly with the pace of the sport. The likelihood that they remove the testing/banned substance is low, but they should at least let the patrons get high while watching JT & Poulter be assholes inside the ropes. Now, I will give them a shout out… they have moved the policy to not punish unless you have extreme amounts in your system, but we need to get back to the days of passing a bowl around while waiting on the group ahead, to clear the green (pun intended).
“As for the new PGA drug testing policy, one anonymous golfer has already checked with a doctor and estimates that, if he keeps thoroughly hydrated, he’ll be able to smoke 12 days out of the month without passing the 150 nanogram limit, and he plans to do just that” -Merry Jane author, Zach Harris (Read More)
Joint relief is a real thing (pun intended AGAIN). I feel that if anyone could benefit from the relief MMJ provides, its these guys. You hear about “Hockey Tough” and how these guys will play through injuries, teeth knocked down their throat, etc etc… so I like that they give them alternative relief to popping PK’s like they’re skittles. Now, I’m not saying its safe or smart to be high while competing on ice, and at that speed… but seeing as these guys play so many fucking games, and travel so frequently… let these guys eat some damn gummies between games. The NHL is kind enough (probably because they’re mostly Canadian) that they don’t announce or punish players for their use of weed, they just use it for analytics in their end-season review. At least Bettman can do one thing right (way to ruin Olympic Hockey asshole).
The sport of recreational drug use… We’ve heard the stories of Doc Ellis tripping his dick off while pitching a no-hitter, and the cocaine days of the 70s and 80s (shout out to the other Doc & Darryl Strawberry) but I mean the long, slow pace of play is asking for cannabis use. Whether its for players health, or for the pitchers in the rotation who don’t hit the bump till Friday (another pun)… weed is the answer. I take my pen in to every Rockies home game and it’s awesome, but it’s a little different for us here than it may be for the east coast clubs. Literally, baseball is a sport of short attention spans, hot dogs, peanuts, beers… let me know when to stop… but herb & baseball go together like peas and carrots. Obviously, the guys who swing the bats shouldn’t medicate on game days, or at the least don’t eat a deca-dose… shit will make you hazy for like a week. Luckily for MLB players, they don’t punish the players for MMJ use, but the minor leaguers definitely do LOL.
This one is a slippery slope, considering there are a lot of NCAA athletes… and they are just kids. 18 year old kids. Some of which get arrested for the most minuscule amount of weed in their car (shoutout to MS and AL you backwards fucking states) and most of the time they’re pulled over for like speeding, and arrested for this shit. Now, I understand that is a legal matter, not a testing matter (again, fuck Jeff Sessions)… but seriously, what kid didn’t try marijuana while in college? If you didn’t… more power to you. If you did, great… glad you got out there and tried something new. But seriously, stop suspending, or punishing kids for weed related charges and testing, its silly. Mark Emerett is as bad as Goodell. He should resign in disgrace soon after this FBI scandal anyway, and maybe bring in Slick Ricky Williams to oversee the “non-profit”.
In summation, Jeff Sessions is a cock sucker, and he needs to get the fuck out of public office. Secondly, I hope the NFL and the other old fashion fucks get out of their own way, and let everyone enjoy the harmless plant, created by God. Genesis 1:29 MUTHA FUCKKKAHS.