Meet Elizabeth Swaney, the low flying, no trick throwing, never falling, freestyle skier representing Hungary! Liz is actually an American (bummer I know as our expectations are much higher); however, her grandparents were born in Hungary (seems like a low bar for qualification if you ask me). You wouldn’t know it from watching the video (below), but she has actually been training… since 2013… and has yet to learn 1 trick… mind blowing… I know! Who would pay for this you ask? No one, Swaney is self-funded and at one-time represented Venezuela (anywhere but America huh Liz?!).
— NBC Olympics (@NBCOlympics) February 20, 2018
First, a little background on this not-so-Evil Knievel. Liz is no dummy. She sports an undergrad degree from Cal Berkeley and a graduate degree from freaking HARVARD (NERD ALERT). That last sentence actually explains it all, her competitors haven’t read as many books combined in their lives as she had read in college. One more fun fact, Swaney ran for governor of California against Arnold and was subsequently terminated. She’s all over the map, and doesn’t appear to be good at any one thing in particular.
Now that we are all acquainted with Liz, let’s get to the root of the issue. I don’t want to sit here and shit all over this poor girl as her one goal is to inspire a future generation in Hungary. Very admirable; however, this is the OLYMPICS! Only the best of the best should be allowed to compete (typical American I know). Long story short, Liz qualified by default, taking advantage of a bad system (KUDOS FOR THAT). The qualification process is simple, skiers have to earn enough points by constantly finishing in the top 30 of World Cup events; however, most World Cup events barely have 30 entrants. Swaney’s plan is simple, SHOW UP AND DO NOT FALL!! Her flawless plan and execution of said plan led us to where we are today.
If I was the first American or Canadian (or whoever else is good at freestyle skiing) off the team, I would be LIVID. There are plenty of folks who, with that spot, could have actually won a medal. I hear all you moaning and groaning, “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE JAMAICAN BOBSLED TEAM? With your attitude we would never have stories like those!” Wo, wo, wo, slow down Turbo! There is one glaring difference here, THEY TRIED TO WIN! Much respect to Liz for finding a loophole to qualify, but when you get to the big stage maybe throw one trick? Why does it matter if you fall now? Last place is last place, STOP DISRESPECTING THE RINGS ELIZABETH!!!!